Internal Transformation

Over the last few months (maybe within the last year) I’ve focused more on ME – self-reflection, personal growth, healing, and internal transformation. In doing this, I’ve found a new sense of self and the confidence to have some uncomfortable yet much-needed conversations with loved ones. These conversations, I would describe as being beautifully uncomfortable. Beautifully uncomfortable because had this been even a year ago, I wouldn't have had the same courage.

This journey, I would compare very closely to the transformation of the butterfly. The caterpillar is oftentimes disregarded because it is not the most pleasant thing to look at. While the world continues revolving around the sun and life around the caterpillar continues its evolution, the caterpillar makes its cocoon. I can imagine it’s not the most comfortable place to be for the caterpillar, but it’s necessary for its transformation. Over time, with patience and hidden from public view – no big announcement or solicited support, a beautiful butterfly makes its debut.

We walk outside and see these beautiful butterflies, each of them unique in their own way. However, we did not witness their transformation. We did not have front row seats to the low moments, trying moments, or moments of uncertainty. We were not there for the internal transformation.

We walk around daily not knowing what internal transformation people are going through. That’s why it’s so important to JUST BE KIND. It costs us nothing to be kind to people. We may be able to talk someone off the ledge or we may send them over the ledge with our speech and/or actions. Imagine being either of those people. I recall being in a local restaurant one early morning. I asked the team member preparing my food, “How is your day?”  I wasn’t ready for what she shared with me. Often times when we ask this question, we are not expecting a real conversation. She was vulnerable and shared a personal story with me, and I shared a personal story with her. Now every time I am in the area, I stop in to see if she’s there. Her internal transformation was beautiful because after miscarrying once and having what she thought was a near-death experience, she found out she was in fact pregnant again. I cried the day she shared the news with me. We both cried in the moment and it was very liberating. I later learned that she is the manager, and oftentimes viewed in a negative light by many team members and customers because her role requires her to make tough decisions. It goes to show you that you just never know a person’s struggle. The great news is that this pregnancy, she carried her child full term.  As a believer, I know that God placed me in that restaurant on that morning to have that conversation with that woman.

If you know me, you know I am the nurturer, the counselor, the advisor, the listener, and the one most likely to keep it extremely authentic you with. I am always a call away, and a shoulder to lean on. This, I have found to be my purpose in life and it's what I enjoy most. I will always inspire you to be the best you. I will never allow you to beat yourself up over things that are meant to be life lessons. I will forever be the one to help build you up. However, when reflecting on all the moments in which I've been there for others, I realized I was all of that for everyone else, but not for myself. It has always been easier for me to inspire people around me. Unfortunately, it takes some extra effort for me to do the same for myself. This time, I deemed it necessary for me to become that friend to myself. I decided to make some changes within this time of internal transformation. I decided to give myself grace. I decided to put myself first. This naturally allowed me to have those beautifully uncomfortable conversations. I no longer allowed myself to fear hurting others by holding in emotions I thought they wouldn't be able to handle. That's why communication is so important.

Now I make the extra effort to stay in tune with how I feel. It’s part of my transformation. And if you really know me, you’ve been privy to it with or without knowing. P.S., it’s the ones that have noticed for me. ️️

I want to leave you with a few inspirational words of advice.

  1. You are worthy.

  2. You deserve to find happiness within yourself.

  3. You deserve the healing you seek.

  4. Allow yourself to become who it is you desire to be.

  5. Always remember, a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.

In the next few blogs, I’ll be sharing a particular part of my transformation. It’s one thing I’m extremely excited to share because it took a lot of dedication and determination.

To myself, I’d like to say - continue your transformation oh beautiful butterfly. Fly like no one is watching. 🥰🥰🥰