Updated: Sep 23, 2019
Too many of us women have a hard time finding and keeping friends. I am part of a few groups on Facebook and have seen many women talk about not having any friends. This saddens me because I’ve always had a great group of friends around me. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do if I didn't have these friendships. I have my best friend from 7th grade, college friends that have remained constant, and friends I’ve met as an adult. No, I am not one to agree when people say “No new friends.” Those of you thinking like that may lose some of God’s blessings. Now, this isn’t me saying you have to befriend everybody either. I will say to definitely pay attention to the vibes of those around you. If the vibe is off, leave them where they are. Keep those with positive vibes around you always.
It’s not often that you can talk about having a friend from 7th grade. To say that I am grateful is an understatement. We don't talk every day; we don't have to. She’s constant and extremely dependable. I know if I called her right now, she’d have an answer or we’d be planning on how to deliver on any need. I have college friends who I love dearly! We’ve grown up, grown apart, but still remain the best of friends. The friends I met as an adult will surely be around forever! I say this because, at this stage in life, we are protectors of our peace. I know for sure I’m not letting you in if you’re not deserving. And at the same time, if you are a friend and you show yourself to be undeserving of my friendship, well, you can find the nearest exit. I’m more careful of handpicking my friends at this age than I am picking my fresh fruits and veggies! Lol!! Seriously though, that’s just how I am. My peace is so important.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that every friendship isn’t meant to last forever. For those that do, AWESOME!! But let’s be honest. Some friendships will end for one reason or another. Will you be sad? Yes, of course, especially those seemingly long-term ones you may have never in a million years thought would end. Will life continue to move on? MOST DEFINITELY! Sometimes we outgrow friendships, and that's ok. Friendships that end or dwindle away have taught you some valuable lessons I am sure. Whatever the lesson, accept it for what it is and move on.
It’s so important to have friends that support you, I mean always rooting for you. Praying for you, harder than you pray for yourself. It’s vital! To have continuous support from those who celebrate your wins as if they were their own and want nothing in return is sometimes unheard of. However, when you find that group of friends that pay for your products, don’t ask for handouts, share all your post, like your posts and engage on ALL social media platforms, you’ve found some gems sis! Keep them close! My friends and I are continuously pushing each other to go after that job or that dream or the next entrepreneur idea. The last thing you want to do is not have something in life because you were afraid of stepping out! Ask your friends to hold you accountable! Be open to their criticism. It’s easier to hear from your friends than anyone else. What some people don’t understand is that your circle can consist of so many different friends and people for so many reasons! My circle of friends consist of entrepreneurs, businesswomen, PR and marketing experts, community service-driven women, nurses, soon to be doctors/dentists; honestly, I could go on! It makes my heart smile to see so many women going out getting what’s theirs! The world is yours! GO GET IT! Whatever IT is.
Now that I’ve touched on having friends, losing friends, and friends that support you, let’s talk about making new friends!! Making new friends is a great opportunity to broaden your horizons and become open to new things. Here are some ways to step outside of your comfort zone and meet new friends:
Surround yourself with people of like mind. If you like museums, go to museums! Or poetry nights. Or maybe even a concert! My cousin bought a ticket for the Beyonce and Jay Z concert and went alone. He met some new people I’m sure he’ll have lasting friendships with.
Take the initiative to mingle with individuals in those Facebook groups you may have been added to lately! I’ve been added to a lot of Facebook groups! There is one that I find myself interacting in more than I usually would and the creator is awesome! If you’re looking for a great group to include yourself in, check out “She’s a Creative.”
Lastly, BE YOUR OWN FRIEND! Honestly, this should have been first! Love on yourself. Learn who you are. Most of us are getting to an age where things are changing! You’re just figuring out who you are as a person and what you like. Go out and do some things alone. Go shopping, take yourself out on a date. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn what and who you are. You can’t be the best friend to someone else until you are secure in who you are!
Until next time...Peace and Love :)